Sunday, 14 May 2017

The Legatus' Eurovision babes selection for 2017

Denmark: Anja Nissen

Ah, Eurovision.  It used to be one of the few places, on politically correct British TV you could get scantily clad dancing girls (usually backing acts from former Soviet countries) but now the show is so popular with gay men that the flesh flaunting females of yesteryear are now an endangered species, as producers realise that there are no votes in them.  This year I didn't have my little Eurovision party companion, as she is in Edinburgh, and as the Old Bat wanted to watch Britain's Got Talent I had to watch Eurovision afterwards,  But at at least you could fast forward through most of the songs and all of the bits featuring the awful Ukrainian presenters.  Ukraine produces some of the most beautiful women on the planet (see our header for evidence) but what did we get?  A trio of scuzzy looking men, in this most overtly gay friendly edition of the contest (although at least one of them was cringingly chatting up the attractive female jury presenters on air)/.  You wouldn't mind if you thought Ukraine really meant it but they are probably only doing it to annoy Putin, that being Ukraine's main purpose, at present.

This year, long dresses for the women seemed to be de riguer and Denmark's Anja Nissen filled hers perhaps the most effectively of any of the ladies.  She seems to have quite a thing for red dresses but her Eurovision one was rather less revealing than some of her previous efforts.

Nissen is Australian but both her parents are Danish.  The teenage Nissen won The Voice Australia in 2014 but her career hasn't exactly taken off since then.  If I liked busty blondes she would have been my favourite Eurovision babe.  But I don't so,  she wasn't.

Dutch sisters OG3NE (their name reflects their mother's blood group and their shared genetic material!) also won The Voice in 2014 but the Dutch version.   Two of them were certainly ensuring their lungs weren't too constricted  yesterday.  Unfortunately, it was the two of them who look like they have eaten all the Edam.

Rejoicing in the not very Dutch names of Lisa, Amy and Shelley they competed in the Junior Eurovision Song Contest (who even knew there was such a thing?  Shudder!) ten years ago when they were pre-teens with lots of braces in their teeth.

Shelley and Amy (left and middle) are twins (I fondly remember the Dutch Van Breeschooten twins from Playboy in 1989) and older sister Lisa isn't.  Lisa certainly gave the most bust revealing performance of the night.  Bet Anja Nissen was annoyed when she saw their outfits! With a final position of 11th they smashed Anja's 20th for Denmark, too.

Polish entry Kasia Moś is an ex Las Vegas Pussycat Doll burlesque star.  She is older than the other girls here, at 30.  A proper musician, she studied cello and piano at the Frederic Chopin Music school and has a degree in contemporary and jazz music.

Perhaps misunderstanding the term jazz magazine, she posed for Playboy Poland.  She does look like she needs to go on the OG3NE Edam diet, though.  Sadly, severely hampered by an unfortunate dress, she finished a lowly 22nd out of 26 in the final.  Ruff.

Romanian yodeller (yes, really) Ilinca Băcilă wore a very entertaining frock which had a delightful life of its own.  Still only eighteen, she was in The Voice Romanis in 2014 as well as getting to the final of Romania's Got Talent. 

Romania. No! No! No!

Belarus.Yes! Yes! Yes!

Maybe her frock was why her co-singer was so overcome he gave her the most cringe-making and obviously unwelcome kiss afterwards (in contrast to the Belarus couple's convincing looking snog, after their performance). Romania came a creditable 7th and might have done better without the onstage assault.

Our final selection, from a poor year, is France's retro looking Alma (nothing to do with the battle just the first two letters of her first and second name, Alexandra Maquet), a 28 year old business graduate from Lyon.

 I really liked her sixties style look.  Yé-yé.  She came 12th. Lovely!  My favourite Eurovision babe this year.  Liked her song, too.

Britain's Lucie Jones is another TV song contest (and more recently a West End musical star) participant, coming 7th in 2009's X-Factor, being voted off in favour of Irish 'novelty' duo Jedward, embarrassingly.  She certainly gave it her all and did well in the professional jury vote (99 votes) but dismally (10 votes) in the public vote.  This is because, according to the Old Bat, the inhabitants of the third rate EU countries (i.e. most of them) wonder what is going to happen to their rubbish economies once the EU doesn't have bucket loads of our cash to dole out to them and they can't come here to earn money, by undercutting British workers, which they then don't spend here but send home to their UK benefit claiming families.  She may think that.  I couldn't possibly comment.

Lucie deserved better than her fifteenth place,  It's our best position since 2011 and in any other year she would have done better.  The very trim Lucie also works as a model, including for her own lingerie range.  Lovely shape!

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